We assume that children are bold, care-free, and confident, but for many children that’s not the case at all. Shyness is far more common than you might think and Supporting Shy Children, it’s vital that their parents not only appreciate their shyness, but understand how to support them too.
We assume that shyness is simply part of a personality but it can be as a result of a problem too. Perhaps a child has gone through a traumatic even and that can also make them shrink into their shell and appear shy. However, for the most part, shy children simply need to be coaxed out of their shell over time. The most important thing? Accept their shyness as a beautiful part of who they are. It makes them sensitive and quiet, it’s not always a bad thing.
Let’s take a look at some important things about shy children.
Understand What Shyness is
Children don’t decide to be shy. It is a form of anxiety that is related to social situations. It’s a fear. Of course, that means that it can be overcome but with shyness, it takes time. It’s important to know that shy children don’t want to avoid other people, they probably want to connect and be free from their anxiety, but it’s a fear that is within them.
The first step to supporting your shy child is to understand this.
Pushing Your Child Won’t “Cure” Them
You want your child to be carefree and sociable in all situations. That’s normal. But if your child is shy, pushing them or even shouting at them for not being able to just ‘go for it’ won’t help. If anything, it will make the situation worse.
Instead, you need to be very patient and understand that overcoming shyness takes time. Know that your child wants to get out there and do things, but they need to do so when they feel brave enough on their own. All you can do is encourage them gently and give them time.
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Encouragement is Key
Let’s talk about encouragement a little more. Never pile attention onto a shy child. They do not like being the center of attention and it will simply make them extremely uncomfortable. Even walking into the classroom late can be an anxiety-laden event.
Gentle nudges and praise is the best way forward. Build their confidence by pointing out their strengths and don’t focus on their weaknesses. You need to be a positive force around them and you can do that by reminding them that they’re able to do anything they put their mind to.
Celebrate Small Wins
Overcoming shyness is about baby steps. You need to celebrate and praise even the smallest steps. Even if you don’t think what they’ve done is anything huge, know that to them, it’s massive. Simply putting their hand up in class to answer a question is a big thing to a shy child, so if they’ve done it, praise them and celebrate in your own small way.
Let Them Know That Everyone Feels Scared Sometimes
Shy children tend to think that they’re different, that somehow they’re the only ones that feel this fear. But, you need to show them that even the most confident people are a little scared sometimes. By encouraging them to try new things in their own time, you can teach them that by taking small steps, you can move mountains. Show them that it’s normal to be apprehensive, but that it doesn’t need to hold you back.
Supporting your shy child to overcome their anxiety will not happen overnight, but with time and patience you’ll see them slowly start to break out of their shell. It may takes years, but even a small win is a step in the right direction.
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